so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
