There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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