you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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