what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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