i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
