i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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