I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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