He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
