She announced her abortion via fbk
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
