Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
