We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
