idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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