He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
