they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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