At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
