well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
