Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
