I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize