For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
