i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
