i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
