3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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