Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
