One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
