google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
