UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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