upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize