Screwed.edu
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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