i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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