We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
