I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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