Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
