found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
