Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
