i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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