yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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