We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
