i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
