And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
