RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
