ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
