theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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