pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
