Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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