And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
