I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
