I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize