Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize