he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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