I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
