I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
