y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
