I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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