did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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