Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
