I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No subtext here. People are naked.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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