I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she told me i tasted like america
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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