I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
