You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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