we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Houston, we have a blender
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
