I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
