She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
