More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
