u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
