Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
