I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dignity is for republicans.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize